21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”
- Matthew 18: 21-22
Why, just in this case, can’t once be enough? Have you ever wondered that?
I had a occurrence last week that bothered me deeply. If you would have asked how I was doing, I would have said I was fine. I wasn’t even aware that I was bothered until today. My thoughts had gotten so out of control. I was telling folks off in my mind, coming up with quick quips and storing them in my mental filing cabinet in the just-in-case-I-have-to-check-this-fool file, plotting verbal revenge, and dusting off my stock piled cut-cards. It took me five days to realize the root of the problem was unforgiveness.
My first thought was, “Lord! I have to forgive so-and-so AGAIN!!! I just forgave them last year! I called and everything! Wasn’t that enough?!?! How many times do I have to forgive this individual?” God’s response was Matt. 18: 22.
My response was, “Ooooohhhhhhhh! REALLY? Like for real though Lord?” Followed by, “Lord, I am so sorry. It didn’t even occur to me that all of this fighting I was doing in my head stemmed from unforgiveness.” Then I forgave the individual and asked God to forgive me.
Let’s break this down. Some people have behaviors that they are unwilling to change. Those behaviors may cause you harm be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Of all of the measures that may need to be taken to be removed from that harm, forgiveness must be one of them. You MUST forgive that individual. (See Matthew 6:15, 18:35, Mark 11:26)
The first or initial forgiveness if you will, is not the end all be all action it may feel like it is when you do it. (Ex. I forgave you. Now we’re done). When you, for the very first time, really forgive someone for whatever harmful, hateful, mean, insert-any-negative-adjetive-here offense committed towards you, it is a HUGE step. It is a freeing step. It is a mature step. It is a godly step because forgiveness is what God teaches. HOWEVER, that first step does not mean you will not ever have to forgive that person of the very same thing again later. Later could be hours, days, or even years from the time you forgave them initially. That person may not ever change. The second and subsequent forgivenesses may be just as painful as the first but IT IS STILL NECESSARY! Why painful? It is hard and I mean very hard to forgive someone when you and they know full well that they were the ones in the wrong and you were on the receiving end of that wrong. Trust me. I know. HOWEVER, that does not mean that you don’t have to forgive them. Forgiveness is up to the one who was wronged. Reconciliation is up to the person who committed the wrong.
Forgiveness, regardless of the number of times the offense has been committed towards you, will set you free.
